Meriods.

Tired-Of-Your-Man-Period

Just like a girl, us guys go through hormonal changes, I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY IT’S FUCKING TRUE. Just, just listen, no listen. YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME. Okay just because we don’t bleed doesn’t mean we don’t experience the same hormonal cycle. Every month I get a lot doucheier and way too emotional for my own good. Cosmo even proves it, calling it Irritable Male Syndrome. BFF and I go through it at the same time because when she’s on her period I’m on my meriod. It’s like I have ESPN or something. But seriously I’m so glad that I don’t bleed or any of that weird shit because like I would probably not know what to do if my vagina started bleeding? Like that’s so weird, right? I’m gay and I just don’t understand, idk.

Symptoms of a Meriod include (but not limited to):

  • Complete and total dick
  • Extra douchey
  • Always tired
  • Irritable for no reason
  • Needs an ungodly amounts of attention (needy)
  • All of the naps ever
  • Food (taco bell, Mexican, waffle house, outback. Basically all food)
  • SWEATPANTS ARE ALL THAT FIT ME.

I put Devon (butt <3) on the spot and asked him to describe his meriod to me and his comments were, “Farts, suicide, cramp pain, complete bitch and like Beyoncé hit me in the stomach with her swag.” I mean if those apply to you then that’s when you know you’re on your meriod. If not then it’s completely okay to judge him. But like Lil Wayne said, “Ima pick the world up and ima drop it on your fuckin head” I feel like this is an accurate statement for how I feel most of the time while I’m on my meriod. I either want to cuddle soft things, while crying into my pillow and watching Vampire Diaries or I want to punch you in the throat if you say the wrong thing because I’m either hungry, tired, bitchy or a combination of all of the above. Now listen, this isn’t all the time it just depends on my mood that day and if someone pisses me off or not. Like I’m going to listen to you speak for a few second then I’m going to hit you. Can we all agree that every guy has felt this way at one point? And if you say no, YOU’RE FUCKING LYING.

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